wonky.tv renews broadcast licence for another five years
Ofcom confirms the network will continue to occupy channels 841–845. "They're harmless," says a source. "Mostly."
On Air — Channel 847
Britain's most peculiar broadcast network.
Five channels. Zero ratings. Complete commitment to the art of being slightly wrong about everything.
wonky ONE
wonky TWO
wonky SPORT
wonky NEWS
wonky KIDS
Satellite 28.2°E · 1080i · 24/7
Our Channels
Five networks, each more committed to the bit than the last.
CH 841 · wonky ONE
Drama, documentaries, and programmes about people you've never heard of doing things you've never considered.
CH 842 · wonky TWO
Entertainment. Including a cooking show hosted by a man who has never cooked. It's brilliant.
CH 843 · wonky SPORT
Live sport. Mostly cricket. Some darts. An alarming amount of greyhound racing on weekends.
CH 844 · wonky NEWS
News you can fact-check yourself. Headlines in real time, analysis in hindsight, opinions at all times.
CH 845 · wonky KIDS
Children's programming. Educational in the way that watching paint dry is educational. Our lawyers insist we say this.
Coming Q3 2026
wonky MUSIC
Music videos. Including some we made ourselves. Patents pending.
Today's Schedule
What's on wonky ONE
Live now
06:00
Good Morning Britain… Sort Of
Weather, breakfast recipes, and a word from our sponsor: lukewarm water.
07:30
The Archers: Radio 4
Ambient village drama. You don't need to know the characters. You just need to own a countryside.
09:00
Restoration: The One Where It Actually Breaks
Ben Pentreath tries to restore a Victorian hallway and ends up restoring his marriage instead.
10:00
DIY SOS: No Tools Edition
Can you renovate a kitchen using only a tea towel, a candle, and sheer British determination? Find out.
11:00
The Great British Queue
Documentary. Four hours. All of it worthwhile.
13:00
wonky News at One
"And in other news, a man in Leeds has been caught impersonating a man in Leeds. More at eleven."
14:00
Antiques Road Trip: The Stuff Nobody Wanted
Fiona Bruce and Hugh Scully discover that most antiques are just other people's clutter.
15:30
The Repair Shop: Gone Wrong
When restoration doesn't quite work out. Featuring a music box that now plays "Never Gonna Give You Up."
17:00
The Dog Ate My Homework
Children's programmes. Strictly educational. Our lawyers checked.
19:00
wonky News at Six
The news. With more ad breaks than news. Because that's television.
20:00
Peak Practice
Soap opera set in a Peak District medical practice. The patients are the drama. The doctors are just there.
21:00
QI: Unabridged
Quite Interesting. Everything you never wanted to know, presented by a man who knows too much.
22:00
The Late Show
Late-night entertainment. With a guest you won't recognise from a film you haven't seen.
23:30
Test Match Special (on wonky SPORT)
Cricket. If you're awake for the last over, you're clearly not well.
How to Tune In
Getting wonky in three steps.
You'll need a dish, a decoder, and a certain tolerance for disappointment. The first two we can help with.
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Point a satellite dish at Hotbird 13°E
Or 28.2°E for our backup transponder. Either works. We're not fussy. Dish diameter: 60cm minimum, 90cm if you live north of Birmingham.
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Set your decoder to 11473 V, 27500, 5/6
Universal LNB. DiSEqC not required. If your box asks for a PIN, the answer is 0000. It always is.
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Scan and watch
Channels 841 through 845 will appear. If they don't, check your dish. If they do, congratulations — you're one of us now.
By The Numbers
5
Channels, each more niche than the last.
24/7
Broadcast hours. Even at 3am, someone's watching. Probably.
1994
Launched. Before the internet was a thing. Before anyone knew what a "thing" was.
Latest Clips
View All ShowsPress & Articles
What people are saying.
"The Great British Queue" wins BAFTA for Best Documentary
The presenter accepted the award in silence. He then spent 45 seconds lining up the programme team in alphabetical order on stage.
Channel mosaic goes 1080i: a technical deep-dive
Our engineering team explains why we upgraded. (Answer: the old encoder fell down the stairs.)
wonky KIDS launches new co-production with CBeebies
A shared preschool block. Our lawyers say we can mention the other network's name. Our PR team says we shouldn't.
For Investors
Five channels. One transponder. An audience that can't be measured but can be felt.
We don't have ratings. We have a feeling. It's a very strong feeling. We'd like to talk to you about it over a drink that is not lukewarm water.